• Front Cover
  
• Editorial
  
• To G Or Not To G
  
• Sketch Sketch
  
• Ode to Tescos
  
• The DougSoc Files: The Grossil
  
• The Information Superhighway: its effect on DougSoc
  
• Let's Rap With 1st Class
  
• The Meaning of Oxford
  
• Castration and Orgasm in the Starwars Trilogy
  
• Desert Island Disks
  
• Risotto
  
• President's Address
  
• So long and thanks...

Contributors:
Peter Gillin
Mat Page
Juliette White
Sarah Lawrence
Xavier Smith
Richard Blunt
Dale Klover
Paul Gilkerson
Phil Hallard
Matthew Graham

Suddenly everything becomes clear. TAB Clear.

The Meaning of Oxford

by Juliette White

1. Procure a copy of an atlas, the Guide or other such suitable reference book.
2. Look up in the gazetteer, index, etc. each place name and thus ascertain the location of each place.
3. Draw yourself a pretty map of that utterly insignificant blue-green planet far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western spiral arm of the Galaxy and any other parts of the universe required.
4. Mark on each place with a suitably hoopy arrow.
5. Admire your work, buy all of Dougsoc drinks, cacolo(q.v.) and generally celebrate.

Adria (n.)

The checking of your pigeon hole for the 7th time in one day.

Band Bont (n.)

The service of breaking down a party by drinking all the alcohol, putting on the Flop 20, etc. Premium rates offered by Dougsoc. References available on request.

Cacolo (vb.)

To cartwheel through Corpus Christi College cloisters.

Cordova (n.)

The maximum angle at which you can incline your head when wearing a mortarboard

Dongshan (n.)

The extra value acquired by 50 pence pieces due to their use in the laundry

Fuding (ptcpl. vb.)

A visit to Sainbury's prior to an essay crisis.

Khilok (vb.)

To wear a scarf belonging to a college other than your own esp. when in reference to men wearing St. Hilda's scarves

Khong (vb.)

To rotate a plate so that the crest is at the top.

Lorne (vb.)

To peer into a college on the Turl so as to ascertain which one it is.

Merton (n.)

Somebody who appears drunk when in fact they are entirely sober.

Moyo (n.)

The ancient art of composing silly JCR motions.

Myrtle Creek (n.)

A boast from someone at St. Peter's about automatic doors.

Oglaroon (n.)

Abuse shouted at somebody punting from the Cambridge end.

Oxford (n.)

A vastly inferior rip-off of something which was originally quite a good idea

Palmetto (vb.)

To attempt to get oneself sconced e.g. by playing cards in hall (warning: this may fail when High Table misinterprets 'cartis ludit' as 'laughs at the menu'.) or going dressed in an appropriate manner for a Dougsoc bad taste evening.

Rushworth (n.)

The feeling of tallness experienced on attending a university meeting for coxes.

Sark (vb.)

To have difficulty standing up straight in The Bear.

Spalding (vb.)

On visiting the doctor to register at the beginning of the First Year, trying to sound honest when you tell them how much you normally drink each week having drunk over twice that amount the previous night at a Freshers bop.

Squornshellous (n.)

A strange anonymous message written on a stug (q.v.).

Staunton (n.)

A vow not to eat any kebabs this term.

Stug (n.)

A piece of paper stuck on somebody's door intended for messages.

Tonk (n.)

A photocopy of a kebab.

Uig (n.)

The abbreviation of a college name so that it can fit on tracksuit trousers

Veroia (n.)

To not check your pigeon hole or e-mail for days on end. This phase follows zapala (q.v.).

Zapala (n.)

Not checking your pigeon hole for 2 or 3 whole days, but instead checking e-mail for the 7th time in one day. This phase follows adria (q.v.).