• Front Cover
  
• Editorial
  
• To G Or Not To G
  
• Sketch Sketch
  
• Ode to Tescos
  
• The DougSoc Files: The Grossil
  
• The Information Superhighway: its effect on DougSoc
  
• Let's Rap With 1st Class
  
• The Meaning of Oxford
  
• Castration and Orgasm in the Starwars Trilogy
  
• Desert Island Disks
  
• Risotto
  
• President's Address
  
• So long and thanks...

Contributors:
Peter Gillin
Mat Page
Juliette White
Sarah Lawrence
Xavier Smith
Richard Blunt
Dale Klover
Paul Gilkerson
Phil Hallard
Matthew Graham

Now this brings back memories! All you poor people who have been deprived of the experience of seeing Dan and I perform the Hedge Sketch, can now get something of a taster from the skillful adaptation that Paul has lovingly presented here.

Sketch Sketch

by Paul Gilkerson

Hugo: Hello, I'd like to buy a sketch please.

Stefan: Certainly, did sir have any particular kind of sketch in mind?

Hugo: Erm, a funny one I should think.

Stefan: Ah, sir is clearly as amusing as the jar of pickled gherkins I keep in a small cupboard in my trousers.

Hugo: Oh thank you. The sketch must also be confusing.

Stefan: Would that be very confusing, or just slightly so. Do you want your sense of reality twisted into strange and offensive shapes, or just gently dusted down with a grade 5 dusting down brush?

Hugo: Oh, I think just a mild concoction for us. We are but simple folk.

Stefan: Indeed, how about this one here?

Hugo: How does it go?

Stefan: It starts "Hello, I'd like to buy a sketch please."

Hugo: Sounds a bit subversive to me...

Stefan: I assure you it has been passed by the Aylesbury Humour Standards Council.

Hugo: Yes? It does sound vaguely familiar...

Stefan: I stand embarrassed, sir. I admit it. That first line was shamelessly ripped from a short standup routine from that great long entertainer Dull Dullard. A personal hero of mine. Please forgive my minor.

Hugo: Well, we'll see how it goes shall we.

Stefan: Thank you sir. Your line next.

Hugo: Oh. "Certainly, did sir have any particular kind of sketch in mind?"

Stefan: "Erm, a funny one I should think."

Hugo: "Ah, sir is clearly as amusing as the jar of pickled gherkins I keep in a small cupboard in my trousers."

Stefan: "Oh thank you. The sketch must also be confusing."

Hugo: "Would that be very confusing, or just slightly so." Is that the best you've got? I'm sorry, but it's crap, sounds like some Fry and Laurie rip off.

Stefan: I'm sorry if sir feels that way. Perhaps he would like to flirt outrageously with me instead.

Hugo: I most certainly would not! Goodbye!

[Hugo storms out]

Stefan: [to camera] Comedians are such bastards!